Papa Joe ~ Telling Tales

Too Much Christmas Pudding ~ a folk style story

Once upon a time, far, far away, there lived three girls.

The oldest's name was Bang. It was a good name for her. For Bang was a big strong girl with large hands and large feet. Her every foot step resounded with her name.

The second girl's name was Knowie. That was a good name for her. She had a mind like a trap. Once she knew something she'd never forget it, but sometimes when she knew a little bit about something, she thought she knew it all.

The youngest girl's name was Charity. She wasn't as strong as Bang or as smart as Knowie. But Charity had something they didn't have: a warm heart.

One day, their mother said, "Girls, Christmas is just three days away and 
we don't have our tree yet. I'm so busy. Will one of you get the Christmas tree?"

Bang boomed out, "I'm the oldest and the strongest. I'm the one to get the tree."

So she pulled on her warmest boots, slipped on her warmest coat and hat and off she went to find the perfect Christmas tree.

She had to walk a ways to reach the woods where the Christmas trees grew.

Along the way she met a funny little elf with big silver eyes, a long silver beard, and a suit of clothes so red and green you couldn't help but think of him hanging on a Christmas tree.

The little elf called out to Bang in his wee little voice, "You're a big girl and the way you stride about with a bang, bang, bang, I'd say you know your way around these parts. I'm one of Santa's elves and I'm lost. Can you tell me the way to Santa's Workshop?"

Bang began to boom, "I am big. Big enough to know that there isn't any such thing as an elf." With a huff and a puff she stomped off into the woods with a Bang, Bang, Bang to find a tree, leaving the poor elf all alone.

Well, she found a tree, a beautiful tree, a tree so perfect for Christmas she had to have it. But have it she could not. For around the tree was a snake. A snake so big it could have swallowed her whole. When the snake saw Bang, it rose up with its jaws opened wide and made a terrible noise: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!"

Bang was so scared she jumped out of her warm boots. She ran so fast she lost her warm hat. Her warm coat was torn to shreds by the branches and the brambles. By the time she got home, she was so cold and so weak, she had to spend the rest of the day in bed.

The next day, the mother called, "Girls! Now there are only two days 'til Christmas and we still don't have our tree. What shall we do?"

Knowie loved it when her mother asked a question like that. Knowie always thought she knew best. "I'm the smartest. I'll find the perfect tree."

So she pulled on her warmest boots, slipped on her warmest coat and hat and off she went to get the perfect Christmas tree.

Along the way she met the funny little elf with big silver eyes, a long silver beard, and a suit of clothes so red and green you couldn't help but think of him hanging on a Christmas tree.

The little elf called out to Knowie in his wee little voice, "You're a smart girl and by the way you watch about yourself with a wig and a wag I'd say you know your way around these parts. I'm one of Santa's elves and I'm lost. Can you tell me the way to Santa's Workshop?"

Knowie puffed up. "I could tell you that and a lot more, if I believed you. But I'm much to smart to believe in elves. You're probably a spy. Can't fool me?"

With a wig and a wag she waltzed off into the woods to find a tree, leaving the poor elf all alone.

Well, she found a tree, a beautiful tree, a tree so perfect for Christmas she had to have it. But have it she could not. For it was the same tree her sister had found. Around the tree she found the snake. The snake so big it could have swallowed her whole. It rose up with its jaws opened wide and made a terrible noise: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!"

Knowie was so scared she jumped out of her warm boots. She ran so fast she lost her warm hat. Her warm coat was torn to shreds by the branches and the brambles. When she got home Knowie was so cold and so weak that she had to spend the rest of the day in bed.

The next day, the mother called to the girls. "Girls! There's only one day left 'til Christmas. What shall we do about the tree?"

Charity, the youngest child stood up. "Well, I guess it must be my turn to find the perfect tree."

Now Bang began to boom, "What? You! I couldn't get the tree even with all my strength."

Knowie couldn't wait to have her say. "And you're not as smart as me either. How can you get it if we can't."

Charity turned to her sisters and said, "I may not be as strong or smart, but I'm strong and smart enough to do my share."

She pulled on her warmest boots, slipped on her warmest coat and hat and off she went to find the tree.

In her turn she met the funny little elf with big silver eyes, a long silver beard, and a suit of clothes so red and green you couldn't help but think of him hanging on a Christmas tree.

The little elf called out to Charity in his wee little voice. "Do you know your way around these parts? I'm one of Santa's elves and I'm lost. Can you tell me the way to Santa's Workshop?"

Charity was overjoyed. She always wanted to meet one of Santa's elves. "How wonderful! Please to meet you Master Elf. Santa's Workshop? I've never been there before, but I've always heard it was at the North Pole. Let's see! It's Winter and just about noon so the sun is in the South. All you have to do is turn your back to the sun and you'll be going North."

It was the elf's turn to be merry. "That's a good deed and should be rewarded. You taught me something so I'll teach too. The snake that chased your sisters will obey you. Use this spell:

"Magic Snake, hear what I say.
I'll decide on what you'll prey.
You must do as I command.
Do my will as I demand.

"That's all! I trust you'll use your knowledge well. And now I'll be heading North. My thanks and Merry Christmas."

Charity waved and headed off into the woods to find her tree.

Well, she found a tree, a beautiful tree, a tree so perfect for Christmas she had to have it. It was the same tree her sisters had found and around the tree she found the snake. The snake so large it could have swallowed her whole. It rose up with its jaws opened wide and started a noise so terrible: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!"

She nearly jumped out of her warm boots, but she knew the spell:

"Magic Snake, hear what I say.
I'll decide on what you'll prey.
You must do as I command.
Do my will as I demand."

The snake shut his jaws with a snap. "So! Tell me what you want."

Charity knew what she wanted. "I want that tree at my house."

The snake turned toward the perfect Christmas tree. He stretched his mouth wide. Then he started his: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!" The snake grew as the tree went tumbling down his throat.

Charity yelled, "Why did you eat my tree?"

The snake smiled and answered. "How else could I carry the tree to your home? I don't have any hands."

Charity and the snake began their journey home. As they walked along, Charity saw a walnut tree. There were walnuts lying all around. She thought of how nice walnuts would be for Christmas. "I wish I could bring all these walnuts home."

The snake turned toward the walnut tree. He stretched his mouth wide: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!"

The snake grew as the walnuts went tumbling down his throat.

Then Charity smiled. She had an idea. If she gathered up lots of food in the woods, she could have a Christmas eve feast for everyone in the village. The snake would get as large as he needed to carry the food.

She saw a bee hive full of honey. The snake turned toward the bee hive. He stretched his mouth wide: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!" The snake grew. Now he was as big as an oak tree.

She saw wild carrots and potatoes and onions. The snake stretched his mouth wide: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!" The snake grew bigger.

She saw some turkeys running wild. The snake stretched his mouth wide: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!" The snake grew.

She saw an old pile of firewood and thought about a bonfire for the feast. The snake stretched his mouth wide: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!"

When Charity and the snake finally got home the snake was gigantic. He filled the whole street. Everyone in the village screamed and ran into their cellars to hide.

The snake said, "Charity, your people don't like me. And I'm tired of being your servant. Let me free."

Charity looked at the huge snake. She knew her mother would never let her keep him. Besides, she really only went out for the Christmas tree. "Okay snake give me my things and you can go."

The snake opened his mouth: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!" Out came the firewood, the turkeys, the onions, potatoes, and carrots. Out came the honey and the perfect Christmas tree. The snake shrunk as the pile of Christmas treasures grew. Then: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!" Out of the snake's mouth came a small black pot.

The snake had shrunk smaller than he was before. He turned to Charity and said, "Thank you for freeing me. This pot is a Christmas present for you. It's magic. Watch.

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot,
Make me pudding piping hot.

"See, it makes pudding. Take all you want. It will keep making pudding until you say:

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot
Now you know it's time to stop.

"Then click your tongue three times: click, click, click. See it stopped. Now I'll go. Merry Christmas!"

The snake slithered away. Everyone in the village came out. They built a Bonfire. They cooked up the turkeys, the onions, potatoes, and carrots. They put honey on their bread. They helped to decorate the perfect Christmas tree and had a wonderful Christmas Eve feast. For desert Charity brought out the pudding pot and said:

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot,
Make me pudding piping hot."

Everyone loved the pudding. They thought it was the best Christmas pudding that they had ever eaten. When they had eaten as much as 
they could, Charity chanted:

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot
Now you know it's time to stop."

She remembered to: "Click, click, click!" Then everyone went to bed.

Charity was so tired that she slept late on Christmas morning, but her sisters were up early. Bang boomed, "I'm hungry. Let's make more 
pudding."

Knowie said, "I know how to make the pot work."

Knowie ran up to Charity's room. She took the pot down to the kitchen and said:

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot,
Make us pudding piping hot."

The pot began to make pudding and the sisters began to eat it. When they were full, Knowie said:

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot,
Now you know it's time to stop."

But the pot didn't stop. Bang was eating as fast as she could, but she couldn't eat as fast as the pot could make pudding. She began to cry, "Stop it! Stop it! It's spilling out on the floor."

Knowie tried again.

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot.
Now you know it's time to stop."

But the pot wouldn't stop. The room was filling up with pudding. Bang boomed, "I'll shovel it outside."

The pudding poured onto the floor. Bang shoveled it to the door, but the pot made pudding as fast as she shoveled.

Soon the pudding was piled up in the doorway. Knowie started to shovel to make more room, but that wasn't enough.

The pudding poured onto the floor. Bang shoveled it to the door Knowie shoveled it into the yard. Then mother had to shovel Knowie's pile out to the street, but that wasn't enough.

The pudding poured onto the floor. Bang shoveled it to the door Knowie shoveled it into the yard. Mother shoveled it out to the street. All the neighbors came out with their shovels and they tossed that pudding right out of the village, but that wasn't enough.

The pudding poured onto the floor. Bang shoveled it to the door Knowie shoveled it into the yard. Mother shoveled it out to the street. All the neighbors shoveled it out of the village. But the pudding just kept on coming from the magic pot.

Soon the village was surrounded with mountains of pudding. No matter how many people shoveled the pudding, it just kept sliding back into the village. Soon the people were up to their knees in pudding. They were afraid they would be buried alive.

At last, someone thought to wake up Charity. As soon as Charity saw what had happened she said the spell,

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot,
Now you know it's time to stop."

Of course she remembered to: "click, click, click!" The pot stopped.

The villagers were so exhausted that they sat down right in the pudding -- 'splat!'

What could they do with all that pudding? Some tried to eat it. They were full before they could even make a dent in one pile.

Others bottled some up for later. They ran out of bottles before they cleared the street. There were still mountains of pudding around the village.

Then Charity went to find the snake. It was quite a trip over the pudding mountains. She found the snake and told him the story.

He said, "Perhaps it would be better if I took back the pot. It looks as if it's too much trouble."

Back to the village they went. Back to the pudding mountains. The snake opened his mouth: "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!"

One of the mountains was gone. They made their way around the village. With every mouthful the snake grew. "GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!"

The snake grew larger until all the pudding had disappeared.

Now the snake was larger than the village. The snake was so full that Charity had to hang the magic pudding pot by the snake's tooth, for it wouldn't fit in his mouth.

From that time on, every year on Christmas Eve, the snake came to Charity with the pudding pot. She would call everyone in the village together and say,

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot,
Make us pudding piping hot."

When everyone had their fill she'd say,

"Merry Magic Pudding Pot,
Now you know it's time to stop."

Everyone would: "Click, click, click!" For no one wanted too much Christmas Pudding.

Papa Joe ~ Telling Tales