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Papa
Joe ~ Telling Tales
Johnny, I'm On The First Step
(c) 1996 by Papa Joe
My brother Johnny, was always in trouble. My mother used to break
the paddles on him. She would spank him so much. It didn't help
though.
He would do the strangest things. He is a big tease. We never
knew what to expect. Like...
Johnny loved liver. Many kids like liver? Johnny loved liver so
much, that he would even eat it raw. Sometimes, he would take raw
liver to school and slurp it down at lunch to make the other kids
sick. Like I told you, Johnny was a big tease.
One day, Johnny was trying to behave. That was not easy for him.
But he was trying and my mother was always glad to help him try.
This day, she had an idea that she was sure would work.
"Johnny, I'd like you to take this dollars and run down to
the store and buy some liver for supper."
Since Johnny loved liver, my mom was sure he would do this chore
right.
Johnny took the dollar, stuck it in his pocket, and headed down
the street. The store wasn't far, but between our house and the
store was a baseball field. Ya know! I think the only thing
Johnny liked better than liver, was baseball.
There were kids playing in the field as Johnny walked by.
"Johnny. Come pitch for us."
Johnny was trying to be good. He wanted to buy that liver. But he
loved to play baseball.
"Okay, guys. But just one inning."
The one inning turned into two, then three, then a game, then
more games... until the mothers were calling the others home for
supper. That's when Johnny remembered the liver.
He ran to the store, but it was too late. The store was closed.
Now Johnny was upset. Instead of being good, he had done it
again. He didn't care about being spanked. He didn't think it
hurt. But he had been trying so hard to be good. Now what could
he do.
As he turned to go home, he saw the funeral home. It was right
across the street from the store. It was called Blakes and they
fixed up the bodies down in the cellar. That was when Johnny got
the idea.
He went behind the store and found some butcher's paper in the
trash. He carefully straightened out the wrinkles and quietly
slipped across the street, around the back of the funeral home,
down the cellar stairs...
No one was around, but the dead bodies. Quickly and quietly,
Johnny found the freshest body. Quickly and quietly, he found
it's liver. Quickly and quietly, he wrapped that liver up in the
butcher's paper and slipped out of that cellar.
A short time later, he handed the liver to my mother. He kept the
dollar, of course.
That was the only time I ever saw Johnny pass up liver. He said
he didn't feel good and everyone believed him for once. He must
have felt sick. Why else would Johnny pass up liver.
Me? Oh, no. I didn't eat liver back then. I was really young. I
didn't like mashed potatoes either.
Now I need to tell you about my family. We had ten kids and only
three bedrooms. Three of my sisters slept in the far room, the
other three slept in the middle room, and all four boys slept in
the near room, at the top of the stairs. My parents slept
downstairs on a folded away sofa.
That night, when we had all gone to sleep, Johnny was still
awake. He was always the last to fall asleep. I think it was
because his conscience bothered him so much. Anyways, it was
really late and he was just drifting off when he heard a noise.
Slap Slap! Slap Slap! It sounded like bare feet on the walkway
outside. Slap Slap! Slap Slap!
Then he heard the voice. "Johnny. Johnny. I'm at your front
door. I want my liver."
At first, Johnny just though he was dreaming. But then... he
heard the front door open. "Johnny. Johnny. I'm in your
house. I want my liver."
Now Johnny wasn't afraid of much. That was one of the reasons he
was always in trouble. But he wasn't feeling very brave as he
heard: Slap Slap! Slap Slap! The foot steps crossing the bare
wooden floor.
"Johnny. Johnny. I'm on the first step. I want my
liver."
Johnny pulled his covers over his head. Slap Slap! Slap Slap!
Slap Slap!
"Johnny. Johnny. I'm on the seventh step. I want my
liver."
There were thirteen steps to our stairs. Slap Slap! Slap Slap!
Slap Slap!
"Johnny. Johnny. I'm on the top step. I want my liver."
Now Johnny was scared. He was shaking so badly, he slipped down
to the bottom of the bed. Slap Slap! He was shaking so badly, he
slipped right out the bottom of the bed and onto the floor. Slap
Slap! Slap Slap!
"Johnny. Johnny. I'm in the hallway. I want my liver."
Johnny raced across the floor and hid in the closet. Slap Slap!
Slap Slap! The voice was getting loud.
"Johnny. Johnny. I'm at your door. I want my liver."
Me? No, I didn't hear anything. I was fast asleep.
The bedroom door creaked open. Johnny was shaking so bad the
clothes were dancing on their hangers. Slap Slap! Slap Slap!
"Johnny. Johnny. I'm in your bedroom. I want my liver."
Johnny was shaking so bad the clothes fell off the hangers and
buried him under a pile. Slap Slap! Slap Slap!
"Johnny. Johnny. I'm at the closet door. I want my
liver."
Johnny was shaking so bad the top shelf broke and all our shoes
fell down on top of the clothes. The shoes were doing a tap dance
on his back. He heard the closet door open... Slap Slap!
"Johnny. Johnny." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Papa
Joe ~ Telling Tales
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