Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in a land called Estonia, no one had a bathtub in their home. There was only one bath tub in each village and that tub was kept in the bath house.

In one of the villages, there lived a young girl. She had no mother, no father, no sisters or brothers, no grandma, no grandpa, no uncles, aunts, or cousins; no one at all to take care of her. She was an orphan, so she had to take care of herself. And what better way to take care of herself, she got a job. And what better job for an orphan, but to work in the bath house.

Now there was only one problem with working at the bath house: she had to wait for everyone else in the village to take their baths before she could take hers. Sometimes she had to wait till very late at night.

One Saturday night she was so busy, she didn't have a chance to get her bath till the clock struck midnight. And no sooner did she put her feet into the tub... but she heard sleigh bells outside. Who do you think it was?

She didn't know who it was, but she knew she had to get out of the tub and put her clothes back on. She went to the door and opened it. Wasn't she surprised to see a beautiful black sleigh, pulled by six black horses, with fiery red eyes, steam coming from their nose, from their mouths, from their ears, sparks flying from their hoofs. In the sleigh was a gentleman dressed all in black, with a bright red face, two horns on his head. It was the devil. Beside him sat his wife. Behind him sat his three sons.

The devil looked at the girl and called, "You there girlie! Tonight's your lucky night. For tonight, you're going to marry one of my sons."

Well, the girl didn't want to marry one of his sons. Would you? While she was trying to think of some way to get away...

...out of the corner of the bathhouse came a little mouse. It was squeaking and squealing, "Ask for things! Ask for things! But ask for one thing at a time."

The orphan got the idea. "Oh devil, I would be glad to marry one of your sons. But not like this. Why, I don't even have any stockings. And Devil? I need a pair of silk stockings before I can get married."

The devil turned to his wife and said, "Wife! Does she need stockings to get married in."

And the Wife said, "Yes, dear."

"All right. I'll get her some stockings."

The devil turned to his youngest son and said, "You there! How fast can you run?"

The youngest son said, "I run as fast as the river flows."

That didn't impress his father. "As fast as the river? That's not fast."

He turned to the second son and said, "You there! How fast do you run?"

The second son said, "I run as fast as the reindeer."

The devil said, "That's faster than the river but it's not fast enough."

He turned to the oldest son and said, "You there! How fast do you run?"

The oldest son said, "I run as fast as the wind."

The devil smiled. "That's fast enough. You run home as fast as the wind. Get this girl a pair of silk stockings and maybe you'll be married tonight."

As fast as the wind that little devil was gone. As fast as the wind he was back with a pair of silk stockings which he gave to his father. The devil gave them to the girl.

Then he said, "Are you ready now."

She said, "Oh devil, I would be glad to marry one of your sons. These are lovely silk stockings. But devil! I'll have holes in them in no time.

"See, I don't have any shoes. And Devil? I need a pair of silver slippers before I can get married."

The devil turned to his wife and said, "Wife! Does she need slippers to get married in."

And the Wife said, "Yes, dear."

"All right. I'll get her some slippers."

The devil turned to his youngest son and said, "You there! How fast can you run?"

The youngest son said, "I run as fast as the river flows."

That didn't impress his father. "As fast as the river? Still as fast as a river? You better come up with a better answer than that.

"You there! How fast do you run?"

The second son said, "I run as fast as the wind."

The devil said, "You got that from your brother. Very good, but not good enough. We're running out of time.

"You there! How fast do you run?"

The oldest son said, "I run as fast as a cheetah."

The devil smiled. "That's fast enough. You run home as fast as a cheetah. Get this girl a pair of silver slippers and maybe you'll be married tonight."

As fast as a cheetah that little devil was gone. As fast as a cheetah he was back with a pair of silver slippers which he gave to his father. The devil gave them to the girl.

And the devil said, "Are you ready now!"

She said, "Oh devil, I would love to marry one of your sons. These are lovely silk stockings, beautiful silver slippers. But devil! How could I get married without a dress? And Devil? I need a white lace dress before I can get married."

The devil turned to his wife and said, "Wife! Does she need a dress to get married in."

And the Wife said, "Yes, dear."

"All right. I'll get her a dress."

The devil turned to his sons and said, "Boys! How fast can you run?"

The youngest son said, "I run as fast as a snail."

"A SNAIL! You'd better just stay in the sleigh.

"You there! How fast do you run?"

The second son said, "I run as fast as anyone."

The devil said, "Good try, but not good enough. I like bragging, but we're running out of time.

"You there! How fast do you run?"

The oldest son said, "I run as fast as sound."

The devil smiled. "That's fast enough. You run home as fast as sound. Get this girl a white lace dress and maybe you'll be married tonight."

As fast as sound that little devil was gone. As fast as sound he was back with a white lace dress which he gave to his father. The devil gave it to the girl.

And the devil said, "Are you ready now!"

She said, "Oh devil, I would love to marry one of your sons. These are lovely silk stockings, beautiful silver slippers, wonderful white lace dress. But devil! You forgot the matching veil."

The devil turned to his wife and said, "Wife! Does she need a veil to get married in."

And the Wife said, "Yes, dear."

"All right. I'll get her a veil."

The devil turned to his sons and said, "Boys! How fast can you run?"

The youngest son said, "I run as fast as a ahh..."

"A Ahh! They come out fast but they don't go anywhere.

"You there! How fast do you run?"

The second son said, "I run faster than anyone."

The devil said, "Better try than last, but it's still bragging and we're running out of time.

"You there! How fast do you run?"

The oldest son said, "I run as fast as light."

The devil smiled. "That's fast enough. You run home as fast as light. Get this girl a matching veil and maybe you'll be married tonight."

As fast as light that little devil was gone. As fast as light he was back with a matching veil which he gave to his father. The devil gave it to the girl.

And the devil said, "Are you ready now!"

She said, "Oh devil, I would love to marry one of your sons. These are lovely silk stockings, beautiful silver slippers, wonderful white lace dress, matching veil. But devil! Before I get married I need a ring. And it must be a special ring. A ring made from gold that's never been touched with a diamond that's never been seen."

The devil turned to his wife and said, "Wife! Does she need a ring to get married with?"

And the Wife said, "Yes, dear."

"All right. I'll get her a ring."

The devil turned to his sons and said, "Boys! How fast can you run?"

The youngest son said, "I run as fast as you."

"So you think you're smart now. Just wait until we get home.

"You there! How fast do you run?"

The second son said, "I run too fast."

The devil said, "If you run too fast, you'll never find it.

"You there! How fast do you run?"

The oldest son said, "I run faster than warp speed."

The devil smiled. "That's fast enough. You run home faster than warp speed. Get this girl a ring made of gold that's never been touched with a diamond that's never been seen and maybe you'll be married tonight."

Faster than warp speed that little devil was gone. Faster than warp speed he was back with a diamond ring which he gave to his father. The devil gave it to the girl.

And the devil said, "Are you ready now!"

She said, "Oh devil, I would love to marry one of your sons. These are lovely silk stockings, beautiful silver slippers, wonderful white lace dress, matching veil, awesome diamond ring. But devil! Before I get married, I need some flowers."

The devil turned white with rage. "Flowers! Wife! Does she need flowers to get married with?"

And the Wife said, "Yes, dear."

"All right! I'll get her some flowers."

The devil turned to his sons and said, "Boys! How fast can you run?"

The youngest son said, "Faster than sunrise."

Just then the rooster began to crow in the farmyard next door. The devil, his wife, three sons, the sleigh, and the horses had to be off, faster than sunrise; back to the hot place, 'cause the devil never wanted to be in Estonia on a Sunday Morning.

And the orphan? She was left standing on the bath house steps.

With lovely silk stockings,

beautiful silver slippers,

wonderful white lace dress,

matching veil,

diamond ring.

She didn't get the flowers, but do you think she cared?

No. The only thing she cared about was that she'd been up all night arguing with the devil. She wanted to go home to bed.

Just as she started off, out comes the farmer's daughter from the farmhouse next door. "Aren't you the raggedy orphan girl that works at the bath house?"

The orphan says, "Well, I do work at the bath house."

The farmer's daughter: "Where did you get those nice clothes?"

The orphan told her all about the devil and his three sons.

The farmer's daughter said, "That's nice." But she was thinking: "What a stupid girl. She could have had a lot more stuff than that."

The next Saturday night it was the farmer's daughter who stayed in the bath house till the clock struck midnight. She was the one to hear sleigh bells outside.

She was the one to see the beautiful black sleigh, pulled by six black horses, fiery red eyes, steam coming from their nose, from their mouths, from their ears, sparks flying from their hoofs. She was the one to see the gentleman dressed all in black, with the bright red face, two horns on his head. The devil, his wife, his three sons.

The devil looked at the girl and called, "You there girlie! Tonight's your lucky night. For tonight, you're going to marry one of my sons."

The farmers daughter smiled. "Oh devil, I would love to marry one of your sons. But before I get married I need..."

...out of the corner of the bathhouse came the little mouse. It was squeaking and squealing, "Ask for things! Ask for things! But ask for one thing at a time."

The farmer's daughter turned to the mouse and said, "I know what I'm doing!

She kicked the little mouse back into the corner and said. "Oh devil, I would love to marry one of your sons. But before I get married I need:

"Seven pairs of silk stockings. One for each day of the week.

"Thirty one pairs of silver slippers. One for each day of the month.

"Three hundred sixty five dresses. One for each day of the year and each one more beautiful than the last, a matching veil for all.

"A ring for each of my fingers. For each of my toes.

"And a barn full of flowers."

The devil didn't even ask his wife if she needed any of that stuff. He knew she didn't. He just turned to his sons and said, "How fast can you run?"

"I run the fastest."

"I run faster."

"And I run faster than all."

The devil smiled. "Well, as fast as you can. All run home as fast as you say. Get this girl the stuff she wants and one of you will be married tonight."

As fast as they said, The devils were gone. It took a little while for them to gather all the stuff, but when they had it they came back as fast as they said.

And since she had asked for everything at once, she had to go with the devil and marry one of his sons.

That's the story of the Keen Witted Orphan. I hope you enjoyed it.

The End

Papa Joe  ~  Telling Tales