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A Storyteller's Wedding

17 Oct 1992

When Sues and I finally decided to tie the knot, we agreed to have a party worth attending. We'd both been to many weddings, many not worth remembering. So we took the most important things in our lives and began weaving them together as stories. We looked at the choices and here's what we did.

The wedding took place at Brentwood Castles, shopping center built to resemble a French castle with court yards and ponds and all. We invited the guest to come early and enjoy the shops, but warned them to be ready at the call of the trumpet.

At Trumpet Call, the guests were seated in the banquet hall by my brothers (who were dressed in gay colonial garb, cranberry vests, knickers, cravats, etc..). And they waited patiently, while Pete and Marybeth (of Spoof Gabbling Circus fame), acting rather distressed, conferred in the aisles between the curtain at the front of the hall and the curtain in the back. After a few minutes of this, the guest began to mummer concern. Pete took the mic and explained that there would be a slight delay. As a Storyteller, at a Storyteller's wedding, he had been asked to entertain them for a short while. Marybeth and he told a comical and tandem version of an old Norwegian Folktale "The Squire's Bride."

In brief: A fat old squire gets it in mind that he would like to marry a poor neighbor's beautiful daughter. She of course refuses, but her father (Wicked Man that he was), plots with the squire to have the wedding planned without her knowledge. On the wedding day a page is sent to "get the item promised." He is sent to a field where the girl is working and she (clever girl) quickly unravels the plot. She has the page believe that the thing he asked for is a mare. He hops on the horse and hurries back to his master. Running into the great house he is told to get 'her' up to the Lady's room and have the women dress her. Dialogue is discouraged by the master so... When the mare comes down, there is a loud clacking of hoofs on the stairs...

At the back of the banquet hall comes a sound very similar to horses hoofs on stone stairs. As the guests turn away from the storytellers, a large bright ? appears on the curtain at the back of the hall. A disembodied voice starts. Laurie Anderson's "Born, Never Asked".

"There was a large room

Full of people. All kinds.

And they had all arrived at the same building

At more or less the same time.

And they were all free.

And they were all asking themselves the same question:

What is behind that curtain?"

the music starts and:

Sorry, no horse. Out steps the 1st bride's maid, then, the 2nd bride's maid, followed finally by Sues, on her father's arm. In a perfectly choreographed march up the aisle. To where my brothers, our JP, and myself (all in gay colonial regalia) were waiting for the short and sweet ceremony that followed.

Guess what most of the guest wanted to know after the ceremony.The end of the story, of course.

Pax & Amicitia,

Papa Joe

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